Why do husbands not get it? When we go to them and tell them we are about to LOSE IT! They think we are just being over
dramatic. I mean how hard is it to blog, watch girl t.v, read, eat cookies and treats, nap, and play with 4 perfectly behaved children all day? Not hard, right? Wrong. Of course the children aren't perfectly behaving all the time, but even if they were, it would still be hard. Why?
Because. Because it is the day in and the day out.
Same and the
same.
Always thinking.
Always planning.
Always worrying. It's the build up of days that then end in a meltdown over another small unfulfilled expectation.
I have found that I tend to tell Shayne about the hard stuff that happen in my day. The fighting, the whining, the messes, ALL the problems. And then when I tell him, I might exaggerate it just a little. Like when the girls have a couple of friends over. The whole neighborhood was here. And when we have PB & J again for lunch. It's the 4th time this week. (Of course sometimes I truly don't exaggerate.) But why? Why tell only or mostly about the negative? Is it because I think staying home and
being "just" a mom is easy? Honestly? Sometimes. Easier than what he does? Sometimes. Maybe I do this because during those few moments during the day when things are good; laughter, play, amazing firsts and discoveries. I feel guilty that I am the one that gets to be there to see it. Yes, that is PART of it. But the part that ends up getting me to the LOSE IT stage is that all encompassing feeling of being
under appreciated.
All us moms know ALL the things we do every minute of every day that go unnoticed. Just little things, usually not physically hard things, but add them up. Yep,
hard. My kids are great. And every once in a while we get a sweet note, or hug, or a "okay mom" with no argument, that makes me feel appreciated. But usually what I want is a little acknowledgment from my
partner that what I do every day matters, that what
I do is hard, that
I do a great job, and I haven't permanently scarred my kids. Is that so much to ask? Well, if you know Shayne, you won't get a compliment when you ask for it. Soooo, I'll just have to wait and hope that either my LOSE IT mood passes, Shayne gets to urge to acknowledge all my pains, or I'll just have to end up calling my mom. The only thing she knows how to do is compliment me. "Mom...."